Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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