Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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