what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
