I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
