does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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