Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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