Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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