I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
