so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Randomize