I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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