I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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