I heard we made out
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize