I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
