good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
