I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
