I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
