My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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