i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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