i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
