I feel like abortions should bother me more
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
