He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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