My boss' voice literally gives me gas
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
