Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
