i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you didnt know i had herpes?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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