i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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