i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
