she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
