I hate your face
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize