i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
