he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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