Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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