After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
