I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
