Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
