turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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