Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
