I must be too annoying 4 u.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
