just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
