even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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