Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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