Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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