wanna go halves on a baby?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
