I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
