Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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