she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
