she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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