So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
4 words: hood of his car
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
