marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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