I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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