I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
