I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you traded sex for a burrito?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
