i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
