Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
