Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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