Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Welp...herpes.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
