The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
vagina is talking i cant
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize