Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
