Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
