Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
