it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
